Campus

Campus trick-or-treating: Buildings give out sweets based on their vibe

Halloween is just around the corner! Now that you have some ideas for your Columbia-fied costume, all you need to make the spooky holiday complete is candy. Each building on campus has its own personality and flavor, from sweet to tangy to alcoholic. Here’s what you’d probably receive in your Fjallraven Kanken if you could trick-or-treat around Barnumbia.

Butler’s doling out Werther’s Original

courtesy of knowyourmeme.com

Show up to Butler's doorstep for a disapproving look and a Werther’s Original Caramel. Because of its wooden and dusty old-fashioned vibe, Butler embodies the cranky old man next door who says things like “knickerbocker” and “back in the old day, you could get a hotdog for a nickel” and definitely does not appreciate your holiday spirit. Only downside is, you can’t bring your food into Butler. (Another cranky old man rule.)

Barnard’s handing out Feminist Conversation Hearts

@yummyinmytumbly/ via Tumblr

Barnard is bold, beautiful, and unafraid to feed feminism to unsuspecting trick-or-treaters. Sassy conversation hearts would read Barnard Bold statements like, “Millies before willies,” “I like my pizza white but not my feminism,” and “No fckbys after 11.”

East Campus will slip you some vodka gummy bears

@miss_lady_in_wonderland / via Instagram

Like East Campus, these treats may look kid-friendly on the outside, but the inside is soaked with unpleasant substances. This is the type of house your parents steered you away from as a kid and you should probably skip this Monday night.

Low Library’s giving out Peeps

@food52 / via Instagram
Low is confused. Branded as a “Library” on its entablature but functioning as a multipurpose building, Low doesn’t know what the hell is going on. Trick-or-treaters receive Peeps that reflect the disorientation that Low has been cursed with. It’s not Easter, and you’re not a library, Low. Put the Peeps away.   

Now that you are buzzing on sugar and maybe some gummy bears, you should probably head over to Butler. Suck on some caramel and hit the books, because Halloween is on a Monday, after all.

Which building did we miss that'd give out sweet sweets? Comment down below, Tweet us, or Snapchat us at @CUSpectrum.

Isabella Monaco is a Barnard first-year and trainee Spectrum staff writer. She will be buying her own Snickers Minis to get herself into the Halloween spirit this year. Reach her at isabella.monaco@columbiaspectator.com if you, too, want to pretend you’re not a legal adult.

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